Life with Ninja
by illogicalstar
Summary: Bunch of oneshots in the Naruto verse, no particular storyline. Read and review, please.
1. Confessions

Life with Ninja.

**Summary:** Bunch of one-shots about the life of young ninja, living together in one apartment..Together. Set in between Hopelessly Devoted to you, and the sequel. Hopelessly Devoted to you is on a short Hiatus.

**Rating:** M. Why? Because there is violence, language, sex..and drugs..teen partying, and everything that Teens do.

**Pairings:**You'll find out once you read it.

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**Confessions.**

Inside the new penthouse suite, was a few confession booths – a priest was **always** there. It was Sunday. The ninja_needed_ to confess their "sins". Pfft..If they even had any.

**Booth 1:**

Sasuke: Why am I here?

Priest: to confess your sins, boy.

Sasuke: Sins? Ha.

Priest: Start from what you did this week, and work your way back.

Sasuke: Well, on Monday, I kicked Itachi's ass.

Priest: Young Man!

Sasuke: Hn.

**Booth 2:**

Sakura: ugh

Ino: I know

Sakura: Sins? I haven't commited any sins.

Akira: Well, liking Sasuke Uchiha is a sin in itself. /laughs/

Ino: Shut up.

Sakura: Thats not true.

Akira: Yea, it is. A BIG sin.

Sakura: What-ever.

**Booth 3**

Naruto: ha!!

Shikamaru: You are an Idiot, and this is a waste of time.

Naruto: Shut your face.

Shikamaru: Real mature. I'm outta here.

Naruto: Yummmmy yummy yummy, Ive got bugs in mah tummy!

**Booth 4**

Itachi: Sins? Pffffft. I havent commited any.

Azura: um..Yeah, you have.

Itachi: No, I havent.

Azura: Yeah. You killed your entire clan, except your little brother, and you _lust_ after your own brother! Those are all sins.

_Lust is one of the seven deadly sins._

Itachi: Shut up.

Azura: ha. You're just mad because I'm right!

/Itachi glares at her/

**Booth 5**

Kakashi: ha.

Neji: God isnt real.

Priest: The lord shall punish you!

Neji: Go to fucking hell.

Kakashi: how can you believe in hell, if you dont believe in God?

Neji: There is a god.

Priest: Thats right.

Neji: Shut your hole. Its me.

_/priest looks scandalized./_

Kakashi: Ha.

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**A/n: **okay, so thats it for the first Confessions. I know its short, but there will be more, I promise. Heh.

Thanks to my bestie for helping me. :


	2. Sasuke Uchiha's Secret

Sasuke's Secret.

**A/N:**** This is the second one. Its quite funny, and its dedicated to my amazing reviewer, ZukosIris. Mmmhmm.**

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It was one in the morning. Everyone was sleeping – except Sasuke Uchiha. He was wide awake in his room, and his music was turned up. Very **very **loud. Sasuke was drunk – something that really never happened. It was a scary though, but yes, Sasuke _was_ drunk off his ass. In nothing but his black boxers, singing horribly to '_I touch myself.'_

It was a wonder that no one heard him. All of them were living in the same house together. If anyone saw him. Well, he'd be in deep shit – thats why it was his _secret_.

"When I think about you, I touch myself!" Sasuke sang, slurring the words. It was amazing that he was not passed out on the floor – for there were atleast ten beer bottles littering the floor, and he had a beer bottle in his right hand, and vodka in the other. The song changed, and Sasuke squealed when he heard it.

"You aint nothin' but a hound dog." He sang, trying to moving his hips like Elvis-the king. Too bad he sucked.

Unfortunately, one of the house mates woke up- Azura. She was at least **two floors below** him, and yet, she could hear the song clear as day.

"Grr." She said, climbing out of bed, and out the door of her room. She walked up the flight of stairs leading the the young Uchiha's room.

"SASUKE!" she yelled, pounding on the door. _No answer._ She growled, and pushed open the door. What she saw was well, not a pretty sight. Azura's eyes widened, and she began to laugh uncontrollably. (A/n: wouldnt you, too?)

Sasuke turned around, and saw her – passing out before he could say anything. Azura laughed, rolled her eyes and shut the door. She walked down to her room, and fell asleep giggling.

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A/N: haha, I know its short, but most of these are going to be short. Review! and I'll dedicate a chapter to you too.

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Next Chapter: Fanfictions.

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It may take 24 hours or more to update this story. maybe less, It depends on my computer access.


	3. Fan Fictions

Fanfictions

**A/N: I dedicate this story to my best friends, Lexi and Sarai. Thank you for helping me with this chapter.**

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The "Producers", and Tsunde decided to make the house mates read fanfics. All different kinds of fanfics – Yaoi, yuri – everything. Some were creepy, some were well...not.

So, the house mates sat in the living room, with piles and piles of fanfictions laying on the center table. Sakura looked at the rules taped on top of the fanfictions. It read.

**Dear House Mates,**

**Underneath this note, are fanfictions. You will all read these, every single one, If you do not, you'll be locked in a room, alone, and you will be shocked! I'm dead serious.**

**The Order.**

**Sakura**

**Naruto**

**Sasuke**

**Neji**

**Rock Lee**

**Itachi**

**Shikamaru**

**Kakashi**

**Azura**

**Gaara**

**Akira**

**Kait**

**Sarai**

**Ino**

**Hitana**

**Jayna**

**TenTen**

**Vincent**

**Kuono**

**And boys, dont think we wont know if you dont read the fictions.**

**We have cameras!**

**Good Luck, and Have Fun,**

**Tsunde**

Sakura sighed, and picked up the first packet – she began to read:

"er..Its called Ninja Head." She said, reading the title. Its by XsasuNarufanX. She flipped the page.

"Once upon a time, there was a ninja named Naruto-"

"The fuck?" Naruto exclaimed.

"Shut up, Dobe."

"He was quite handsome – blond spiky hair, and blue blue eyes. He was one of the best ninja in the village."

At this, Naruto grinned.

Sakura rolled her eyes, and continued reading. "It was near spring, and mating season for all none humans – Naruto included."

"blaah." Naruto said, closing his eyes. Bored.

"He had just reached puberty – man hood, and this spring would be his first heat. Every demon would be looking for him, and trying to mate with him. Little did Naruto know, there was another demon – half demon who was going through the same thing."

Sakura sighed.

"In the Uchiha manor -"

"Hell FUCKING NO!" Naruto yelled, interrupting Sakura.

"Shut up." Gaara said. "Its only a story."

"Thank you Gaara-kun. A young boy stood standing in front of a large mirror-he had dark locks of hair, that framed his pale pale skin, and dark eyes of Onyx. He was quite handsome, and his name. It was Sasuke Uchiha-"

"Hell mother fucking NO!" Both boys yelled.

"Shut up, both of you!" Akira yelled back.

"Thanks. Anyway, when mating season came around, Sasuke picked up on Naruto's scent and followed it to the fox demon. Upon finding him, the two looked at each other over, and began to feel each other out. They fought for dominance, each roughly shoving or biting the other. Naruto grew claws, and raked them down sasuke's back, causing Sasuke to let out a crowl, and sink his teeth into Naruto's neck."

"Wow, this is violently intense" Akira said, finishing the knot she had tied.

Sasuke and Naruto were tied together, so they could not complain. Akira and Azura were listening to Sakura's story intently.

"Anyway, Naruto let out a yip, and dug his claws into Sasuke's shoulders, and threw him against the wall – biting into the back of his neck. Sasuke whined, but soon began to purr signaling that he submitted, and -"

"FUCK NO!" Saskue shouted, spitting out his gag "I am NO uke."

"Well...SasUKE..Yeah" Was all Azura said.

"Sasuke purred softly, as Naruto continued to caress his skin under his shirt. Naruto pulled sasuke's shirt over his back head, and threw it on the ground behind him."

"This is getting interesting." Kakashi said, raising a silver brow.

"Naruto grinned, and took one of Sasuke's rosy nipples into his mouth. Sasuke moaned, throwing his head back. A slight blush came to his cheek, as his hips thrusted towards Naruto's."

"I'm going to kill You." Sasuke said, glaring at Sakura.

Sakura rollde her eyes, and snickered. "As Sasuke found himself become more and more aroused, he felt hot liquid run down his legs." At his, Sakura giggled.

Kakashi whistled, and gave Naruto and Sasuke a perverted grin. Both Naruto and Sasuke were now sporting blushes.

"Moaning, Sasuke grabbed-"

"Fuck NO!" Sasuke yelled.

"Sasuke, shut up, or you'll find yourself hearing and seeing this story for the next 72 hours." Itachi said, shutting Saskue up.

"Anyway, Sasuke grabbed his hard cock-"

At this, Ino and the other fangirls started giggling uncontrollably. Azura rolled her eyes, glaring at them.

"What, are you four?" Azura snapped.

"GRR. Okay. With his hand, and started pumping the heated flesh. While his back rubbed against the wall. Naruto smirked, pushing the Uchiha's hand away, and pulling Sasuke's pants down from his narrow hips. Naruto smirked, before kneeling in front of him, taking his entire 11 inches into his mouth.

Half an hour later went by, and Sakura's story was finished. Naruto and Sasuke were passed out. Sasuke's pants were stained with er...something icky, and sticky. No one really knew what it was, and they didnt want to know.

Sasuke woke up, and looked at Azura and Sakura. "Why am i all sticky?" he asked.

"God I'm hard..." Naruto muttered, as he began to wake up.

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A/N: Guess what. There will be more.


	4. Old Person's Party

**_Old_ Person's Party.**

Sasuke glared at the invitation to the _fancy_ party. Naruto stood over his shoulder looking at it too. The old couple from two floors below, had invited them all to their annual Thanksgiving party.

Sakura walked into the room, and smiled at her two room mates. She was in nothing but a towel, her hair wrapped in a towel atop her head.

"Boys, Its not going to be _that_ bad." Sakura said, pouring herself a cup of Milk from the fridge. Sasuke glared at Sakura, while Naruto growled.

"Of fucking course its fucking going to be fucking bad." Sasuke muttered, rolling his Onyx eyes in annoyance.

"Yeah really, there are **old**" Naruto said, sticking his tongue out.

Sakura sighed, and put the empty glass into the dish washer.

"Its gonna be like...boring with LOTs of old saggy people."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, and glared at the invite. He growled, thinking about that could, and would happen if _**he**_ of all people went to the _old _person's party.

"Make me go, and I swear, I'll blow the entire place up!" Sasuke growled.

"Sasuke Sharin Uchiha!" Azura and Akira said, walking through the front doors with bags and bags of shopping.

'i'm not fucking going!"sasuke said growling.

"Yes you are, Uchiha." Akira said, glaring at Sasuke.

"Pfft."

"Do it Sasuke." Azura said, looking at Sasuke. She pouted. "Please, for me?"

"Fine!" Sasuke said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm so not going." Naruto said, crossing his arms.

"Fine, I guess you're less of a man than Sasuke is." Akira said, sighing.

"I'm **so** more a man than the Uke." Naruto said."I guess I'll go..."

"I'm **not** the _fucking _Uke!" Sasuke yelled, punching Naruto into a wall.

"Can't we all just get along?" Akira asked, sighing. She walked out of the living room, with her shopping, into the girl's suites.

Twenty minutes later, they were all ready for the party. The men were wearing in Tuxedos, and the women in beautiful dresses – well, except Sasuke and Azura. They were both wearing traditional Kimonos. Azura's was baby blue, and Sasuke's was black. Both had the Uchiha symbol on them . Sasuke's was on the back of his kimono, and Azura's was on her sleeve, by the hem.

They all walked out of the apartment, and stepped into the elevator. Naruto pushed the button, and they traveled down in silence.

The group reached the doors of the double doors of the VonderDouche suite. Sasuke growled, and rolled his onyx eyes, as they entered the suite.

Azura and Sasuke were the last two to enter the suite, and when they did, all eyes were on the two. Sasuke glared , but was hit by Azura. He glared at her, but said nothing. Instead he tried to smile, and make friends.

But it was quite hard to do, since everyone was staring at him, and giggling. Old women, and their grandchildren. Every girl had a crush on the Uchiha, and they wanted to make him theirs. So, they would walk up to Sasuke throughout the night, and flirt. Giggle, and_"flaunt their stuff."_

Sasuke was quite annoyed, and was about to use Chidori, but Azura gave him a look, and hit him over the head. "Fuck this." He mutterd, as he sat in a chair, next to The bored Gaara.

Neji was beside himself. He was bored as hell. He found a picture of God, and smiled evilly. He took his pen from his pocket, and began to draw glasses, and other thinks on the picture of god. He snickered, and set the picture down – then proceeded to find another picture of either god, or Jesus.

Naruto sighed. He was bored out of his mind, and he didnt want to talk to the old men. He grinned, as he saw Neji coloring the pictures of God, and Jesus, and decided to do the same. Though, instead of God, he would color the pictures of the VonderDouches – the black and white ones.

Itachi rolled his eyes. He saw the _children_ misbehaving, and as their _elder_ he was supossed to correct them, and punish them. But, Itachi, being as he is, didn't. He didn't give a rat's ass about the old people's pictures.

Shikamaru was sprawled out on the couch. Sleeping. He hated the party, and wanted nothing to do with it. It was no big surprise that he _was_ sleeping..It was something Shikamaru did. He was lazy as hell.

Rock Lee was scaring people with his _ugly_ looks. The women distanced themselves from him, and the men tried not to be seen with him. Even though he was looking remotely nice, he still scared people.

Ino and the other fan girls were glaring at the girls who were flirting with Sasuke. They were pissed, and wanted to kill them.

Kakashi was reading his book. The girls tried to flirt with him, but he was too busy reading his _amazing _book. Hell, he didnt even notice when one of the girls threw her drink in his face. Itachi saw that, and snickered.

He walked off, and found himself surrounded by a bunch of old women.

"Young Man, could you help me find my dentures?" One old woman asked. Itachi looked like he wanted to kill, but nodded. Being as_nice_ as he could without overdoing it.

Half an hour later, the party was over. All the pictures on the walls were destroyed, and sixteen of the 'crazy stalker girls' that were not in the fan club were fried to a crisp. Itachi now had a pink bow in his hair, and pink nail polish on his nails. His face was done up in make up, and he wanted to kill.

Sasuke was still pissed, but quite happy with himself. He had killed atleast 16 of his crazy stalkers. Shikamaru was **still**** sleeping. **Gaara was passed out, on the couch from acute boredom. Neji and Naruto were grinning like fools, inspecting their _artwork._


	5. Ahhh, My eyes, They burn!

My Eyes, They Burn!

Former team seven lounged on the bridge waiting. Everyone was there, save for their old sensei Kakashi who was late..again. This was usually a common thing, except for the fact that Kakashi was an hour and half late. Sakrua had already given up, and gone home, but Sasuke and Naruto stood waiting.

"He's taking forever, lets go get him." Naruto whined, ready to pullout his hair.

"Quiet Dobe." Sasuke growled for what seemed like the millionth time, "Do you even know where Kakashi lives?"

"Yeah, with Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto exclaimed happily. "I don't know why they live together though..they share a room, too..I just don't get it."

"Bakayrou, you're so dense." Sasuke grumbled, rolling his eyes. "They are lovers, you moron."

"So they are like...together?" Naruto asked confused. "No way Iruka would put up with the pervert, dattebayo!"

"Dobe, you understand nothing," Sasuke sighed, "Lets go, I'm becoming impatient."

Sasuke pushed himself off the railing, and started to walk off – his hands in his pockets, and started to walk off with his hands in his pockets. Naruto follows suit still trying to solve the question of Kakashi living with Iruka. As they walked, Naruto was talking and annoying the Uchiha behind him.

"We are here." Naruto states opening the door.

"Weren't you gonna knock?" Suskvka acquires.

"Nope." Naruto says walking in.

Susure sighs and walked in afterward only to run into Naruto.

"Dobe what are you..." He pauses seeing the look or Naruto's face.

His gaze follows Naruto's to see what he was staring at. He was greeted with a sight that would haunt him till the day he dies. His former teacher, Kakashi and Iruka, were other ground going at it like rabbits. Sasuke covers his eyes and mouth as he felt like gagging.

"Naruto, S-Sasuke." Iruka started grabbing a couch pillow and covering himself.

Kakashi glared and covers himself in turn irrate at his former students.

"Yes?" he asks calmly.

"I ...er..We um..." Sasuke mutters trying not to look at his teachers.

"Why I'll be out in a minute." Kakashi smiles and shutters outside.

There was a long silence between Naruto and Sasuke.

"Told you so!" Sasuke attacks.

"Shut up teme." Naruto grumbles.


	6. Four Ghosts and A Funeral, Part one

**Four Ghosts and A Funeral.**

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**A/N: Okay, so this chapter is dedicated to my reviewer. My only reviewer, Leilani22.**

**Thanks for reviewing, and here is the next chapter.**

**Warnings: Swearing...Sexual situations.**

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They **all** had to go to the Funeral of Orochimaru's grandfather. They did not want to go, but they didn't want to endure Tsunade's wrath..or Orochimaru's. So, they went. It was being held on the beautiful Zen garden in the City of Aslamabad.** (A/N: I made it up. Deal with it.)** The streets were lined up with people who _loved_ the Orochimaru's grandfather. His grandfather was a _famous_ Man whore -_though I couldnt see why any woman in her right mind would want him...or let him pleasure them.._

That was before he met Orochimaru's grandmother. She was quite pretty, and they fell in love. Madly deeply in love, and soon she had Orochimaru's father. Who in tern married a semi-pretty woman, Ora, and she had a son – Orochimaru _who turned out to be the ugliest thing in the world._ And a daughter, Ima.

But the kids had to go to the funeral, and _try_ to enjoy themselves as much as they could. They would be arriving in style. They were all wearing black – except Neji, who was wearing white. He still thought he was god, and therefor, decided that he, as god would wear white.

As the children, and their sensei walked into the Holy Communion Church for the Service, They heard the Choir singing part of Mozart's Requiem – Lacrymosa. Naruto sniffled a bit, while Sasuke rolled his Onyx eyes.

"This is so sad.." Ino said, rolling her eyes.

"That was sarcasm, huh?" Naruto said, frowning at Ino.

They all rolled their eyes, and were about to sit down, when they heard four voices. They turned around, and looked at the voices. What they saw, were the ghosts of four **dead** people – Sasuke's mother, the Fourth Hokage, The Third Hokage, and Haku.

"Mom...?" Sasuke asked, looking into his mother's beautiful Onyx eyes. She smiled, and nodded her head.

Naruto was looking at the Fourth Hokage. The fourth hokage looked almost exactly like Naruto – same blonde hair, same blue eyes.. The fourth raised a brow, and smirked.

"_Naruto, I am your father."_ He said.

Everyone but the Sensei, Naruto and Azura gasped. Their eyes were wide.

"W-what happened to mother?" Naruto asked, walking closer to his newly found father.

"_This is your mother." _The Fourth said, placing his arms, around Sasuke's mother. She just rolled her eyes, and shrugged him off. Obviously disgusted.

"_Naruto-" _Sasuke's mother began to say, before she was rudely interrupted by The Third.

"_Your mother loved you very much, even now – even now that she's in a better place."_ The third said.

"_Hush, old Man."_The Fourth said, before looking at his only son. _"Sasuke's mother and I are planning to get married."_

"_We are not!"_ Sasuke's mother snapped. _"I think you are disgusting." _

"_Aww, baby." _The Fourth Said, rolling his eyes.

"_I'm not your 'baby'. Grow up, and maybe..Just maybe I'll like you. But I do __**NOT**__ like you._" Sasuke's mother said, walking to her seat and sitting down.

"_Well, she's got a point."_ Haku said, sitting next to Sasuke's mother.

"_Woah, are you a girl or a boy?" _The Fourth asked, raising a blonde brow.

"_A boy, you butt muncher."_ Haku said.

The rest of the company went to their seats, and sat down. The service began.

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This was short, yes, I know..But there is totally gonna be more of the Funeral later.

Review people.


	7. Four Ghosts and A Funeral, Part two

**Four Ghosts and A Funeral. part 2.**

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**Warnings: **Violence, language.. Everything in the last chapter will be in this one.

**A/N: **I've decided to do this in parts. Yeah, I had more ideas, as the day progressed. Don't like it. Too bad.

**

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**The Ceremony began, and Neji was bored. He growled, and rolled his eyes. He did not want to be at the funeral, but he didn't want to educe the wrath of Tsunade – the fifth Hokage. 

Gaara looked over at Neji, before looking at the ghosts in front of him. They were bickering.

"_Rin, Darling.."_ The fourth said, looking over at Sasuke's mother.

"_You know, this is a sad time."_ She said, rolling her eyes.

"_I am crying... On the inside."_ The fourth said, feigning misery.

"_Bull shit."_ Haku coughed.

The Fourth glared at Haku, before standing up, and bashing him in the head - with an empty pew. Peoples head's turned. Some screamed, and some fainted. For all they saw, was a big pew floating and hitting thin air.

The ninja of course were the only ones who could actually see the ghosts, and maybe one or two of the younger guests.

Azura and Akira looked at eachother, before rolling their eyes.

The head priest looked around and came to the back. He stood where the fourth was standing, and started chanting.

"Evil be gone! Let the power of Christ compel you!" He shouted, waving his arms around. Everyone rolled their eyes.

Neji rolled his eyes, and muttered. "Jesus fucking Christ."

The Fourth snickered, and swung the pew back, and hit the priest over the head. The priest fell over in pain, and began screaming.

Sasuke's mother, Rin Uchiha(1) rolled her eyes, and sighed. The fourth laughed. He was happy.

The priest stood up, his nose spewing blood, and began to "Exorcise" the "Evil" spirit.

"Be gone. you demon, you eviiiilll thing! Let the power of God-"

**BAM**

He was thrown to the ground, as the pew came out of no where, and hit him in the face, breaking his nose.

"Give it up old man." Akira said. "Its obvious that the _ghost_ is angry with you. Leave it alone, before you make it _**really**_ mad."

The priest glared at Akira. She rolled her eyes. "I'm just trying to help you, you old fool." She muttered, before turning around to face the front.

The priest stood up. He looked at the ninja sitting in the pews – and narrowed his tiny eyes.

Azura looked over at the priest, and rolled her eyes. She let out a sigh, and looked at Sasuke, who was obviously pissed.

"Sasuke." Azura said, placing a hand on his own hand.

Sasuke looked at Azura and sighed.

"This is bull." He said, growling.

"Hey, its only an hour." Sakura said, chiming in.

"Its going to be longer because that stupid _fucking_ priest is too busy worrying about the bloody ghost." Sasuke growled.

"I'll make it up to you." Azura said, before she looked at the fourth. The priest opened his mouth, but before he could, the pew flew into his open mouth, breaking his teeth, and knocking him out.

The fourth snickered, sitting down. The others rolled their eyes, and the ceremony continued.

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_**(1) Sasuke's mother's name is Rin Uchiha. Don't know her name, because its not said in the series. Dont like it. Too bad. Its my story, I can do what ever i want to it.**_

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_**That's it for now. Review, and I'll dedicate a chapter to you.**_

_**Next time: Elevator Fun!**_

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	8. Ways to Die

**Ways to die.**

**A/N: **Instead of elevator fun, I wrote a different story. I was going to have this be after elevator fun, but my computer crashed -- and the file I had my story on was deleted.

This story came to me as a bunch of friends and I were talking in study hall. Its rather…scary how things come up.

--

It was a peaceful night for the ninja, though it was quite boring. There was nothing to do -- that's how the interesting conversation came to be, and it was the narcissistic furballl who started it.

"I wonder what the best way to die is."

Neji snorted. "Already thinking about death?"

"Glorious death on the battlefield."

Azura laughed. "Glorious death... glory ...pfft."

"Na …A glorious death on the battlefield _sounds _nice, but death by sex is the way to go."

"_Naruto!"_

Sakura giggled, and shook her head.

"Heh, or with panties on my head, and legs in my hands."

"_Naruto!_"

"Maybe even _spying_ on good sex …_that_ is glorious."

Ino rolled her eyes. "You pervert."

"Well piggie, how'd _you_ like to die?"

"I dunno ..in my bed with my husband."

"That sounds romantic." Sakura said, sighing dreamily.

Naruto made a face.

"That's not romantic -- limbs tangled together, sweat dripping down your body -- being fucked within an inch of your life -- _**that**_is romantic."

"Don't make me kick you in the face, dobe."

Naruto just grinned.

"_That's_ not romantic, that's just ..hardcore.." Ino snapped.

"No, hardcore would be --"

"_Naruto!_ Don't make me kick you!"

"Awe, Sassy-kun, don't be a stingy ass."

_Cough_ "foreplay" _Cough._

Sasuke glared at TenTen. She giggled.

"Sorry, I had something in my throat."

"Bull. Shit."

Azura rolled her eyes. "I agree with Ino."

"_That's_ how you want to die? Tame and lame?!"

Azura growled. "Shut up you narcissistic furball."

"What about you Kiba?"

"Eh, glory sounds good." He shrugs.

"Well, _I _know how _I _want to die."

"How Sai?" Naruto rolled his eyes. "By colouring to death?"

He laughed and _laughed_, while the others just rolled their eyes.

"What about you Itachi?" Sakura asked.

"I wouldn't mind being killed by Sasuke."

Naruto snorted. "Wimpo."

Itachi rolled his eyes. "Not all of us are perverted like _you_."

"Well, I for one know how Sasuke wants to die." Naruto grinned. "Death with snake up ass."

"You freak!" Sakura exclaimed, laughing.

"That would be one _**hell**_ of a snake show."

Sasuke twitched. "Naruto!"

Naruto laughed. He dodged Sasuke's fist, and raised a brow.

"Youthful snakes!"

"Lee, don't encourage him." Sasuke's eye twitched.

"Or Orochimaru's tongue up his ass."

Sakura's jaw dropped, as she stared at Naruto.

"_**Chidori!!"**_

Naruto dodged. "Gee, no need to get your panties in a bunch."

I _don't _wear panties, and they are **not** in a bunch!"

Sakura giggled.

_cough._ "Foreplay." _cough._

"This is not foreplay Ino!"

Ino laughed. …Sakura joined …then they laughed ….then laughed some more. "Riiight."

Naruto purred. "You're so sexy when you're angry."

Sasuke's eye twitched. "_Naruto!_"

"Yes Sasu-chaaaan?"

"Shut _up._"

Sasuke glared at Naruto -- while the fox just smirked.

Naruto leers. "Now, If I had nine tails …I could molest Hinata-chaan, Azura-chaan. Sasu -chaan and Sakura-chaaaan at the same time."

Hinata groans.

Sakura huffs. "Naruto!"

Sasuke growls. "I'll fucking _kill _you. I'll shove chidori up your hairy ass."

"Youthful love."

Everyone turned to stare at lee. "Enough with the youthfulness already!" they all yelled at him.

"Masturbating to death?"

Naruto purrs. "Hinata-chaan."

Hinata blushed, but giggled. "That's a Naruto thing….sorry."

"Don't be Hinata."

"Oh, _that's_ glorious." Sasuke muttered.

"I know, Sand burial." Naruto grinned.

Azura groaned. "Are you insane?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "That's how _Naruto_ would like to die. ..hey, maybe we can arrange for one right now."

Sakura paled. "Sasuke-kun."

Gaara smirked. "I'm all up for it."

Azura groaned."This is gonna be a _long_ ass night."

It would be a long ass night for the ninja -- they'd be 'enjoying' a sand burial, two snake shows, one _youthful_ death …among _other_ things.

And that night was the** first **night Sasuke Uchiha slept without _any_ kind of distraction -- no annoying narcissistic furball to bother him. It was the beginning of **many** wonderful nights.

'_Thank you Gaara."_

_--_

The **end.**

**Don't forget to review.**

_**If you don't know what a snake show is, you shouldn't be reading this fanfiction. If you're not old enough to know what a snake show -- or a donkey show is, you aren't old enough to be reading this fanfiction. **_

Thank you.


	9. Baby names and Laundry

It is laundry day for the Ninja -- a day that everyone hated. It had been Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto's turn to do the laundry, while Azura and Neji did dishes.

Naruto and Sakura were in the basement doing everyone's laundry.

"Sakura-chaan, when we get married, we should name our daughter Ramen."

Sakura paled. "Uh, no Naruto."

"Whyy not?!"

"It's not a proper name, that's why."

Naruto thinks. "What about Sassy Uke?"

Sakura groans. "That's not a name either."

"A _name_ would be Asuka, Cho or Sakura."

Naruto snorts. "So…Nasuke?"

Sakura rolls her eyes, and folds her shirt. "Sure…"

Naruto grins. "Okay, so our daughter will be called Nasuke!"

Sakura sighs. "Not a girls name."

Sasuke walks in. "What's not a girl name?"

Sakura glances at Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun, Naruto wants us to name our daughter Nasuke. I told him it isn't a girls name."

Sasuke glares at Naruto. "Who said you're marrying her?"

Naruto sticks his tongue out. "I did, Sasu-chaan."

Sakura rolls her eyes. "You two are impossible."

She grabs her biker shorts, and begins to fold them.

Sasuke begins folding his own clothes. "Hn."

"How about Mikoto?"

Sakura looks at Naruto. "Sure…"

Sasuke looks up, but says nothing.

Sakura smiles."I like that name a lot, Naruto."

The rest of the morning was spent talking about baby names -- even though it would be a while before the three of them would have children. It was team bonding -- simple, and peaceful.


	10. Umbrella

**A/N:** cute NaruSasu story.

--

Sasuke had been sulking on the bench for nearly the entire day. He hadn't eaten anything, or gone inside when it had begun to rain. He had just ignored everyone and everything --not caring if he got a cold or anything. It was the anniversary of his parents' death.

Naruto didn't like seeing Sasuke down -- it hurt him to see his teammate -- his _love_ his mate so down. It pissed him off that no one had cared enough to take an umbrella out to Sasuke, or at least drag him back inside.

"You'll catch a cold Sasuke."

Sasuke ignored him. He turned around .he didn't want Naruto to see his face -- he had been crying since day break, and he didn't want the dobe to think he was weak.

Naruto sighed.

He sat down and covered Sasuke in a blanket, and held the umbrella over Sasuke's head.

"I'm here Sasuke. You'll **always** have a shoulder to lean on. You'll **always **have an umbrella to stand under."

Sasuke looked into Naruto's beautiful blue eyes. "Thanks."

Naruto smiled. "I love you."

Sasuke sniffed. "A-and I love you too."

Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke, and kissed his head.

The two of them in the rain, under the umbrella -- and for the first time in his life, Sasuke felt better. He knew that he had someone who really cared about him -- his blond dobe, Naruto Uzumaki. He had been the **only** one to come out, and be_ with _Sasuke on the anniversary of his parent's death--Not even _Sakura _came out -- not even_ Azura!_ and they called themselves his teammates.

--

Meh. I'm not so sure if I really like how it ended. I may go back and edit it later.


	11. Foxplay

Kyuubi liked to pick on Naruto's teammates – it was _fun_ for the fox, and it amused him greatly. The rookies called "Foxplay."

To him, Sasuke was his bitch, Azura his hoe, and Sakura his slut.

Eachtime he'd use their names, they would react the same – throwing punches at him, or Naruto, and swear at him –sometimes in different languages.

Kyuubi liked to piss Sasuke off the most – the boy was just so much more appetizing when he was angry.

He'd punish them of course –by fucking them until they couldn't walk for an entire week – or month even. Sometimes, he'd just be the target of unfounded aggravation, and he didn't even _do_ anything to provoke their ehm…anger.

But hey…he'd still fuck 'em silly.

He liked to grope too – hands, tails ..whatever he fancied. _That_ pissed Azura and Saphira off the most even more than it pissed Sasuke off.

--

Kyuubi no Yoko was not very nice. He wasn't _really_ nice to Naruto's teammates – or anyone else for that matter.

Naruto's teammates were Kyuubi's sex toys – totally fuckable. Well, only for him. If anyone else stole even so much as a _glance_ at the three of them, he'd rip the _poor_ fucker apart. That's the way he was.

He was possessive, narcissistic, rude, annoying and mean. …maybe _that _was what made him so ….sexy and loveable.

Mating season was the worst time for Naruto's teammates – especially for Sasuke. Every single second of mating season was spent on his back, or stomach – having the shit fucked out of him. Kyuubi liked it rough.

Yep, he was Kyuubi's bitch. What could he do?

**Absolutely NOTHING.**

* * *

**A/N:** Dictionary is next. It will explain everything. like "Foxplay."


	12. Dictionary

Dictionary:

The Rookies' Dictionary:

**Foreplay:** Fighting between one or more person, or members of Team seven.

Fighting can either be physical or verbal.

_Examples:__ Naruto vs. Sasuke. Kyuubi!Naruto vs. Sasuke._

**Foxplay**: Kyuubi 'playing' Demon Foreplay.

either violent, or non violent. Either Physical or verbal

_Examples__: Kyuubi throwing Sasuke onto, or into various surfaces, and 'playing' with him. Kyuubi calling Naruto's teammates names._

Foxermental: Angry Kyuubi.

_Examples__: Kyuubi taking over Naruto and reeking all havoc. _

_

* * *

_

I'll add more when I feel like it.


	13. Babies and Team Seven

Azura and Naruto were sitting in the living room watching a movie. A _romantic_ movie – oh, what's its name…The notebook.

"We should have a baby."

Azura turned to gaze at him. "A baby, now?"

Naruto grinned. "Well, when we get married, we should have one…. Or two…. Or twenty."

Azura rolled her eyes. "Twenty."

Naruto purred. "I've always wanted to have a large family."

"You want to start _now_?"

Naruto grinned. "Why not."

Azura glares at the amused fox. "Did Kyuubi suggest this?"

"Naa…"

In all actuality, it _was_ the fox who had suggested it. But Naruto would never tell her that.

"You know how much that _vermin_ likes to screw us. It would be an excuse."

Naruto purred. "But you enjoy it."

As true as that was, Azura didn't want to admit it.

"I have to think about it." She paused. "Nope."

Naruto pouts. "Zu Zu-chaaan!"

"Ask Sasuke."

Naruto purrs. He walks to Sasuke.

"Sasuke, wanna have a baby?"

Sasuke glares at Naruto. "No, dobe."

Naruto pouts. "Aww, but Sasu-chaan!"

Sasuke rolls his eyes. "No dobe. Ask Sakura."

"B-but I want youu."

Sasuke groans. "No. way. In Fucking Hell."

Naruto begins to cry. "B-but S-sasuke.."

Neji is close by. He growls.

"Just say yes, and shut him up."

Sasuke growls. "fine."

Naruto grins, and pulls the annoyed Uchiha into the Team seven bedroom. And let me tell you, the two of them didnt even come out for dinner -- and that night, not one of the members of the apartment got **any** sleep.

* * *

A/N: heh.

I think the next story may be an Uchihacest story.

* * *


	14. All's fair in lust and war

All's fair in Lust and War.

_A/N: Saphira is Azura's demoness. She was sealed inside the young kunoichi when she, Azura, was a baby -- around the same time that kyuubi was sealed in Naruto._

_It will be explained more in "Teamwork: The Beginning." _

_Saphira is a six tailed silver Neko demoness. (Cat demon), and is Kyuubi's __**only**__ mate. They do have a kid -- Asuka. (Azura summons her.)_

* * *

Their relationship was very sexual -- they _lusted_ for each other's touch -- well, it was actually _Kyuubi_ who lusted for _Saphira's _touch.

Azura and Naruto were the two who had to suffer -- constantly being subject to flashbacks of their sex lives, and thoughts on _who is fuckable._ It disturbed the two on **so** many levels.

Saphira and Kyuubi fought like no tomorrow. They were at war all the time. They'd mostly fight for dominance -- as Kyuubi liked to be the dominat one, but Saphira hated the idea of being a weakling, and being dominated -- so the two of them fought constantly.

Whenever they'd fight, the air around them became so thick with dominating demon aura -- and the containers' chakra would spike dangerously.

"Kneel pussy."

"Hell no furball."

He'd growl, she'd growl. He'd try to bite her, and she'd try to claw out his eyes.

He'd kiss her -- well, if that's what you'd call a kiss. Kyuubi doesn't _kiss_. He grabs hair, pulls face to his, and bites. …**hard.**

If Sasuke were around -- which he was most of the time, he would go into preheat, and perhaps overheat. He wouldn't be able to stand the demonic dominating aura, and would probably go crazy. A Uke, or submissive could never really stand the dominating aura of his mate, and or other demons--especially if they were fighting.

The demons' fights would change direction -- from who was going to dominate the other, to who was going to fuck or dominate the poor uke.

It was amusing to say the least -- to everyone **but** the younger Uchiha.

It usually ended up with Sasuke on his er….back, or side, being fucked by both Saphira and Kyuubi. The sex was rough -- Saphira liked to scratch, while Kyuubi liked to bite -- both liked to purr. It drove the Uchiha **Crazy.** He loved it, but he hated it.

Sometimes they'd break the bed, the wall -- and even cause earthquakes. The poor boy was sore(1) by the end. He wouldn't be able to walk for an entire month…maybe even a whole **year**.

This happened from time to time, and some ninja were jealous of the attention Sasuke was getting.

Oh well, All's fair in lust and War. (2)

* * *

(1)That's an understatement.

(2)Not for Sasuke anyway. Hehe.

--

_The jealous ones would be ...Karin, Neji (though he won't admit it.) Sakura (because she's being ignored.) Ino, Jiraiya, and Sai._

_Poor Sasuke. Haha, I lied. No uchihacest until I get more reviews._

_If you have an idea, just tell me when you review. I'll write it, and dedicate the chapter to you._


	15. Kyuubi and Babies

Kyuubi and Babies.

Babies were ugly little hairless things to Kyuubi. He liked the actual _**making**_ of babies, but not what comes after. Not the morning sickness, the crankiness, and the cravings -- he hated it all, and most importantly, he hated babies. They grossed him out.

The peeing. Pooping, crying and stench -- he hated it.

Sure, he _had_ been the one to suggest it.

He was going to have to get used to the _twenty _or so babies. He could live with it, they _would _be **his.**

* * *

_Haha. Kyuubi makes me giggle._

_He only hates **human **babies._


	16. Dinner Theater

**A/N:** Another crazy story. Happened to come to my head as I was writing my other story. Oneshot.

**Warnings:** Crack? Sex. Language. NaruSasu.

* * *

Well, this was interesting, Itachi thought as he watched his brother, and his teammates. Not one of them seemed to be touching their food -- Sasuke's hand was in his lap, and he was staring at his plate. Sakura's head was resting on her arm -- she seemed to be sleeping. Hmm…. why was she tired? Azura was preoccupied with her book -- too busy to really care, or notice that she, and her teammates were being watched by the other ninja. Naruto, however, was just leaning back in his chair -- watching his teammates through hooded eyes. An amused smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth.

Jiraiya looked at Tsunade and saw that she was staring at the blond haired ninja -- her eyes were widened slightly. He turned to look at Naruto -- his eyes were red -- pupils slits -- much different from his purple eyes. His whiskers were darker, more defined -- it only meant one thing. Kyuubi no Youko was in control of the blond boy's body, and he was on the prowl...mating season was nearly a week away -- why was Kyuubi out?

Azura flipped the page of her book -- ignoring the stares of the other ninja. She glanced up, and caught Naruto staring at her -- a vicious, sadistic smirk adorned his lips. She knew that smirk.

"What are you staring at Furball?"

Naruto smirk widened. "You." He purred.

Neji shifted in his seat as he watched the two. His eyebrow raised -- it was always interesting to see Azura's reactions to blond idiot's actions.

Azura set her book her book on the table. "Why?"

Naruto's already wide smirk just widened. He leaned in, and in a seductive purr, he answered her question. "Your breasts are fucking amazing."

Jiraiya choked on his water. He stared at Naruto -- his mouth wide open. He hadn't expected that to come out of Naruto's mouth -- and in such a seductive, sexual way. They all didn't expect Naruto's voice to be this sexy…. or to have such a reaction to his deep, seductive purr.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. His turned to face Naruto. "Dobe."

Naruto smirked. He looked at Sasuke through the corner of his eye. "Jealous, bitch?"

Ino watched the three of them -- her mouth open. Wow. Team seven sure was different. Naruto -- annoying, stupid, idiotic Naruto was the one who had changed the most -- he had gone from being annoying, clingy to perverted, and just down right sexy. His voice had gotten deeper -- way deeper, and was just so damn seductive. Ino was jealous of both Sakura and Azura -- being on a team with two very sexy males.

Sasuke growled. His eyes flashed red, as his Sharingan was activated. "Never."

Itachi watched amused. Naruto always seemed to get a raise out of his brother whenever he called him 'bitch', 'Sasoook', or any other name.

Azura leaned back in her chair. A smirk like Naruto's adorned her face -- though, it wasn't as seductive, sadistic, or vicious as Naruto's. "Right."

Sasuke growled once again -- a slight blush dusted his cheeks, but the glare he was giving Azura and Naruto made the other ninja forget about it. "Fuck you." He spat venomously.

Naruto's smirk widened. "Is that an invitation for me to fuck you?" He purred.

Eyes widened. They stared at Naruto. Many of them were gaping at him like a fish -- some, like Neji weren't bothered.

Sasuke snarled. Naruto just smirked. There was a glint in his eyes -- Sasuke didn't like it.

"Fuck No."

Ino opened her mouth to speak, but closed it quickly -- thinking about her life. She would rather not be subject to Naruto's killing intent.

"That's a yes." Naruto purred.

Before Sasuke, or anyone else could say anything, Naruto leapt towards Sasuke. He grabbed the Sharingan user by his collar, and slammed in onto the table -- shattering plates, and glasses. He smirked sadistically, before crushing his lips against Sasuke's. He shoved his tongue in Sasuke's mouth, and began to massage his tongue with his own.

This movement had caused Sakura to wake up. She jumped -- her eyes narrowed, mouth open -- ready to bitch at the person responsible for her rude awakening. That was when she saw the faces of the ninja across her -- her eyes widened slightly.

"Oh boy…" she muttered.

Sasuke growled through the kiss, clawing at Naruto, and bucking his hips up -- trying to get the blond idiot off him. The more he bucked, and clawed, the more Naruto was aroused. He groaned when he felt Naruto's hardness against his thigh.

"Uh…Naruto?"

That was totally ignored by both of the boys on the table.

Naruto's mouth moved from his uke's bruised, and swollen lips to his neck. He began to lick, bite, and suck at the flesh -- loving the pants, and soft moans that came out of Sasuke's mouth.

"They're not gonna…. here…. are they?" Ino whispered, looking at TenTen. She had no problem with this -- hey, she would finally get to see Sasuke naked. Neither female teammate would tell her how big he was.

"I think so." TenTen answered. She looked around the table -- looking at the faces of the shinobi at the table. Jiraiya seemed pretty happy with himself -- TenTen couldn't help but roll her eyes. 'Stupid pervert.' She thought to herself. Out of all the people at the table, Karin was the only one who was disturbed -- Kiba was slightly green -- perhaps he was disturbed…but that look in his eyes -- was that jealousy?! Kakashi was looking quite amused with a camera?! In his hands, while Iruka was glaring at the perverted jounin.

"Youthful loooove!" Lee exclaimed.

"Damn, its getting hot in here." Temari said, fanning herself with her fan. She had a smirk on her lips as she watched the boys.

Konohamaru smirks. "Well, now we know who Ukes."

Naruto pulled back, and admired the dark red bruise on Sasuke's neck. He grinned, before ripping Sasuke's shirt off -- causing the boy beneath him to growl.

"I liked that shirt, idiot."

"Mmmhm." Naruto purred. He kissed Sasuke once again.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard, you won't be able to walk for weeks, months even." That feral grin was back. "You're my bitch."

Ino gasped. She heard a few other gasps -- from surprise. Sasuke was Naruto's bitch. They'd heard it from the right from the blonde's mouth, and there was nothing they could do about it -- not that most of them wanted to….

"I'm not your bitch." Sasuke growled -- cheeks flushing from both embarrassment, and arousal. He didn't like being called Naruto's bitch -- it pissed him off. He was not a female dog.

That feral grin wouldn't go away -- it only seemed to get wider. Naruto flipped Sasuke onto his stomach, and proceeded to rip the raven's pants off. After successfully ripping the poor boy's pants off, he leaned back slightly -- admiring the view. ((A/N: oh, what a pretty view. Lol))

Ino, Karin, Tenten, and Hinata couldn't stop the flow of blood. Wow. It was a dream come true for Ino -- she finally got to see Sasuke naked. Though, she would have rather it been _her_ pleasuring the Uchiha instead of _Naruto_, but hey…she couldn't complain. Holy shiiit, were the other Uchiha fan girls going to be pisssed. One, because they missed the sight, two, because Sasuke was er…_gay?_. Yup, she could tell them that Sasuke was gay.

Why he was still at the table, he did not know. It was disturbing. Very disturbing, and yet…Neji Hyuuga found himself unable to move from his spot at the table. He really did not want to see _Sasuke_ being fucked by Naruto. . Ugh. His brain was not functioning. Damn.

"Fuck…"

Naruto slid his pants down, and angled himself at Sasuke's entrance. He slammed his cock inside of Sasuke -- his feral grin widening as he heard Sasuke's moan, and his fingernails dig into the table.

"Oh kami-sama…" Ino whispered.

Well, this was very interesting, Itachi thought for the second time that night. Like many at the table, it was his first time seeing his brother being fucked by the sexual beast that was Naruto Uzumaki. He, like many of the occupants of the table _could_ have left, but unlike the others, his brain **was** working. He just wanted to see the sight. Was it disgusting that Itachi Uchiha enjoyed watching his brother get the shit fucked out of him? Was it wrong? Maybe…but Itachi didn't care.

Naruto pulled out, just until just the tip of his cock was inside Sasuke, then plunged back inside -- causing Sasuke to let out a long scream. Ah, music to Naruto's ears. He repeated his previous action, with more force.

"Ahh…"

Naruto's hand wrapped around Sasuke's dripping erection. With every thrust of his hips, he pumped Sasuke's cock. Sasuke let out a long moan, laced with need.

"Harder…. idiot."  
Boy he was going to be sore.

Naruto was growling in pleasure -- his hips slapped against Sasuke's ass, as he thrust in and out of Sasuke. Sasuke couldn't stop moaning. It felt so good -- being fucked by Naruto. Hell, he'd forgotten his own pride, and more importantly, he'd forgotten that he was being fucked on a table -- in front of his fellow shinobi, brother, and elders.

Naruto leaned down, and bit Sasuke's curse mark.

"Wow…." Ino whispered.

The power of the thrusts were now causing plates, forks, knives, spoons, and cups to crash onto the floor. The table was moving with each violent thrust of Naruto's hips, and the shinobi had to back away from the table -- so they wouldn't get hit with the table.

"Kami…. talk about amazing strength…" Sarai muttered, as a particularly hard thrust moved the table a good four inches. The table creaked, before the legs gave out -- sending plates flying in all directions.

The shinobi didn't hear the door open, and they didn't hear the gasps of surprise from the doorway -- they were far too busy watching Sasuke Uchiha being fucked within an inch of his life by the one, the only Naruto Uzumaki.

Yami gasped. She turned bright red. "Oh, my god…." She whispered, surveying the damaged table -- and the two on the table.

Niasuke rolled his eyes, and shook his head. "Guess we're late."

Sakura smiled. "Hey Yami, Niasuke."

"What the _fuck_ is going on?!" Yami exclaimed, trying hard not to stare at Sasuke's beautiful body, and flushed face.

"Naruto got a little carried away." Shino said.

Suddenly, Sasuke tensed, muscles temporarily contracting, clenching and tightening their hold as the Uchiha came violently, screaming Naruto's name.

Sakura looked at Shino. "A little?" She snorted. "A _little_ carried away?"

Shino shrugged.

Naruto growled as he bit Sasuke's already bruised neck -- his right hand pinning Sasuke's hand down, while his other's claws dug into Sasuke's hip. His back arched, and he began to thrust in and out of Sasuke wildly -- faster, almost sloppily, as he felt himself come.

Sasuke's head rested on his left arm -- each thrust hit his prostate dead on, and he suddenly couldn't stop himself from screaming Naruto's name. He moaned, and bit his lip, as he felt Naruto's wet goodness fill him.

Naruto slipped out of Sasuke, and leaned back. He smirked, as he watched his come drip down Sasuke's thighs.

Sasuke groaned. Damn. It was already starting to hurt. He was going to kill Naruto. Kill him.

"Wow…" Ino muttered. A blush spread across her face.

"I'm going to fucking kill you Uzumaki." Sasuke growled, threateningly, as he glared at Naruto.

Naruto leered. "Mmhm. I'm sure." He purred, leaning in. He began to clean Sasuke with his tongue -- Sasuke couldn't stay mad at him very long, and let out a long moan, laced with need.

"Not again." Niasuke muttered. "I'm going to be upstairs."

Yami nodded.

"Mmm." Naruto purred, before he flipped Sasuke onto his back. Sasuke grunted in pain, but couldn't help but let out a moan. "You're really hot for this, aren't you?"

Sasuke growled, but said nothing. He ignored the gasps, and quiet giggles.

"I'm going to fuck you again, and again." Naruto purred, as he yanked Sasuke's hair -- pulling him into a sitting position. Naruto grinned -- that feral grin was back. He stroked his cock to hardness, before standing up. Naruto shoved his cock into Sasuke's mouth.

Jiraiya smirked. He was proud of the boy. He'd learnt a lot in those three years he had trained with the pervert sannin. He caught Tsunade glaring at him.

"This is your fault Jiraiya."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and he fought off the temptation to bite the cock in his mouth. He gagged slightly, as the cock's tip hit the back of his throat.

"Suck teme."

Wow. She'd never seen _that_ before. It was terrible -- and….amazing. Oh kami-sama. She was probably going to have dreams about this -- hell, her dreams had kinda come true. She wanted to see Sasuke, Naruto. And now, she was a die hard yaoi fan.

"Well…I didn't think he had it in him." Jiraiya muttered.

"This is **so** much better than the book!" Kakashi stated -- a perverted grin adorned his face. Iruka just smacked the pervert over the head.

Azura and Sakura giggled softly.

"OF COURSE HE HAD IT IN HIM! Are you fucking KIDDING ME?!" Tsunade yelled.

"Jeez woman." Jiraiya said, massaging the bump on his head.

"You're his grandfather! You're **not** supossed to …URGH!!"

"Oy, shut up you old hag." Naruto grunted, glaring at Tsunade.

A vain popped out. Tsunade had to count to fifty. That's it…deep breathing, yep, deep breathing. In and out.

"I'm sure the bitch would say the same…but his mouth is full." Naruto said grinning.

Sasuke growled. He glared at Naruto, still trying to fight that temptation. Damn, he really wanted to bite that stupid idiotic blonde's cock off.

"Mfhateou." Sasuke said, choking on Naruto's cock.

"What was that Teme?" Naruto grinned. "You hate me?"

Sasuke glared. And glared, and glared.

"You shouldn't talk with your mouth full, bitch."

"Well, this brings a whole new meaning to _Dinner theater_." Sakura muttered, glancing at the boys. She let out a long sigh.


End file.
